How to deal with teenage attitude? Parenting tips for adolescent
Parenting tips for adolescents
A teenager storm? Dealing with teenage attitude can be a little overwhelming sometime.
Parenting tips for adolescents can help you navigate through the teenage storms.
Dealing with teenage attitude is difficult. In this article, we will discuss how to deal with teenage attitude. We will also explore parenting tips for adolescents.
How to handle teenage attitude is very important. Parenting tips for adolescents can help you navigate through the teenage storms.
Here are important steps to deal with teenage attitude and parenting tips for adolescent:
Always be prepared like an on-call duty doctor or an army officer to deal with teenage attitude
No matter how much busy or occupied in life you are, to deal with a teenage attitude, we need to be consistently fit like an army officer or an on-call duty doctor for any unforeseen situations in life. The unforeseen situation could be the storms we encounter in our homes, triggered by any parent-teen related argument or any shocking behaviour. A parent’s life is similar to the on-call professionals who keep themselves emotionally, physically and mentally fit and strong. Alongside health and fitness, just like these professionals, anticipation of any worse situation is crucial to avoid any form of distress, panic or extreme anger. This allows us to take necessary wise actions in a timely systematic manner.
Establish scientific understanding of your teen’s brain and thoughts
One great parenting tip for adolescent is to establish biological understanding of a teen’s brains. A human brain has many parts, one important part defined as the “frontal cortex” is responsible for managing emotions, judgments or decisions, reasoning and much more. It is reformed at a faster pace during these fragile years of a teen’s life. This would mean that the teens think and process information completely differently when compared to an adult’s well-developed brains. In addition, the fluctuation of hormones during adolescence further aggravates the situation and could account for more impulsive, draining and frustrating behaviours.
Teen’s emotional needs are more important than any other needs
Teens fragile emotions fluctuates almost on a daily basis. Some important causes of instability indicate a means of getting attention, of not being appreciated or accepted, or when simply the needs are not even validated. Respecting their privacy, having a calm non-judgmental daily conversation, showing them that you love them unconditionally, not leaving them alone too much, sharing your own mistakes, fears or weaknesses with them and telling them its ok to make mistakes and its ok to cry are all important ingredients of keeping their emotional needs in check. Positive honest reinforcement is also important. Irrespective of how difficult, isolated or a sturdy a teen may seem, they still crave for our attention, respect and unlimited love. Accepting and loving our teens the way they are is the most important; yet the most challenging part of being a parent.
Don’t take it too serious or personal
One of the biggest and toughest challenges that we face as an adult or a parent is when we encounter teen’s disrespectful behaviour. Surprisingly, (according to Daniel Wong) disrespectful behaviour is part of a normal growing phenomenon in teens. Taking teen’s comments, tone or even actions too seriously show weakness of our own system, knowledge and experience. The advantage of having a mature and well-developed adult brain needs to be put to good use, rather than fighting back and forth and losing our temperament endlessly with our teens. Doing so, we give our control in the hands of teens which they manipulate and escalate the situation even further. Taking care of our own health, understanding the biology of a teen’s developing system and anticipating the worst could help us react better in any unpredicted astonishing circumstances.
Absence of healthy boundaries and consequences
One of the most misunderstood term among parents is lack of boundaries. Most parents believe that boundaries uplift rebelliousness. This is not true, in fact teens sometimes challenge their parents in quest of true defined boundaries. In addition, they feel safer when healthy boundaries are reasonably adjusted. Ascertaining boundaries after providing logical reasons is one of the key skills that parents must master to nip the disrespecting attitude in the bud. According to Dr. Paul Jenkins (the positivity psychologist), consequences and reward system must not be set according to the age, but according to the stage of a teen’s maturity. More maturity means more freedom or privileges and vice-versa. In addition, consequences should not be too harsh and should be short term so that the teens could learn from their mistakes and recover swiftly. Obliging to all the rules and consequences consistently is another important skill, with the exceptions of certain situations where a parent must trust their instincts or wisdom to secure the relationship instead of imposing any form of consequences.
Always target their behaviour and not them
The teen should never be a direct subject of criticism, instead aiming to correct their particular “behaviour” would yield some measurable results. For example, you could specify that you found the teen’s “comment” or their “tone” insulting or hurtful rather than disrespecting them directly. Specifying any particular aspect of a disturbing behaviour is more promising as there is more room for improvement without causing any negativity or shaking their confidence and self-esteem.
Avoid unwanted arguments.
One argument can undoubtedly snowball into a dozen more. The constant escalation of arguments could drain the entire energy and momentum, which could reverse the relationship into a major setback. Wherever possible, a written proof of rules, record of important things (where everyone agrees) could also possibly reduce the tendency of unwanted arguments.
Lastly, unconditional love, prayers and time are the most powerful tools when raising the teens. As a parent we need to be very strong, must do our job sincerely, tick all the boxes in our parent’s checklist and should also enjoy the process without worrying too much about the final outcome.
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